Graduation Day....

...no, not my graduation. I took care of that back in 1994. This would be the graduation of my stepson, Jonathan. Well, not really my stepson as his mother and I never did marry...but I consider myself his "blanco padre", so we will leave it at that.

J (nickname) went to school at Florida State in Tallahassee. I always told him that as long as he graduated before the age of 29 (which is when I graduated from Ohio State) that he would be ok. I had him pegged for a good 5 years...maybe 5 1/2. I knew that dropping classes, beer, girls, changing majors and more beer might sidetrack him a bit.

Boy was I wrong. The kid got out a semester past 4 years. He had things more under control than I gave him credit for.

Graduation was at 9am on Saturday, so I pull out of town @ 5p on Friday night for the drive to Tally. If I leave by 4p, I can miss the traffic. No luck for me on that. Stuck in traffic on 275 for much longer than I wanted. Hit a heavy rainstorm right at the junction of I-75 and I-10. Thank god for RainEx. Pull off of exit 199 in Tally and low and behold, I realize I am pulling off the same exit that his mother and I pulled off of to stay in our hotel when we originally dropped him off at school 4 years ago. My hotel (Red Roof) was right behind the Crackle Barrel in which she and I took him for our last meal together (literally) before we departed back to St. Pete 4 years previous. The same exit in which he had an apartment right down the road for the first 3 years he was in school. I was getting flooded with memories right there as I realized where I was at....

So I check in so I can drop off my stuff and grab a bite to eat. It is now 10pm, so I know I have an hour to get grub in the belly at someplace other than Taco Bell. Alas though, I discover I got 7 guys (and maybe a girl or two) 3 doors down from my hotel door who are camped outside in lawn chairs drinking it up with 64oz's of Colt 45. You have got to be kidding me. Oh well, they will be gone when I get back and I will get the sleep I really need.

Sat at the bar at a Red Lobster down the road so I did not have to wait for a table. Had 3 Bud Lights that went down way to fast and gorged on some stuffed flounder. Received texts from 3 buddies back home who were keeping me abreast of the Rays game in Seattle. Got back @ the hotel right around 11:30 and was ready to hit the sack after a very long day...

Yeah right....The boys were still outside whooping it up. Now I know that I did not stay at the Hilton or the Marriot but for the love of god, everyone at the sold out hotel was going to the graduation the next morning. A call to the front desk revealed they knew of the situation, and had already sent someone out.

They did not pack it up until after midnight. My wake up call was at 5:45a. I got a text after 1a that stated the Rays had blown a 5-1 lead and lost. Not a good start to the weekend.

Now my wakeup call was so early as I wanted to make sure I was at the arena by 7:45a. Why so early? J's girlfriend Emily works for someone who had access to a Suite, and I wanted to make sure I was there on time. I was notorius for not being on time when dating his mother, by damn I was not going to be late for this.

Well, I get in the parking lot at 7:40a. I park and I wait for someone to text me with where to meet up with everyone as I did not have an entrance ticket. 8a comes and goes...same with 8:15 and 8:30. Man, now it is 8:40a. The flood of soon to be graduates and proud family members that pass by my car now is considerably dwindling. With 2o minutes to go, I am forced to do something I really did not want to do...Call his mother.

She picked up, wanted to know If I talked to her son that morning (I did not, as I did not want to bother him), and instructed me that since we were sitting in a Suite, I did not need a tix...just show my ID at the Suite entrance and they would let me in.

You have to be fucking kidding me. I am sitting in my car for over an hour, and only needed to walk 300 feet to an entrance to be admitted. Damn...

I get up to the Suite and do not recognize anyone there. A middle age woman introduces herself as Emily's mom and a young man introduces me as a friend of J's (I forgot his name). Family is still not there. I am on cloud nine as I knew I was not the late one today....at the same time though I am a bit worried as 9am was fastly approaching.

La Familia comes in at just before 9am. I kinda get the cold shoulder from everyone. Luz (my ex girfriend) and her husband walk right past me without a hello or even a glance. Her parents say "hi" but walk by me to their seats in front. J's aunt Veronica and her 2 kids do say "hi", and chat for a quick moment, but they also head right to their seats in front. I tried not to think too much into this as I know this is a big day for all.....but I felt really alone. I was sitting by myself in the 3rd row (only 3 row of seats) while everyone else is chatting it up. I was hoping to get through this without feeling I was quarintined due to the swine flu. Thankfully, J's girlfriend Emily sat a couple of seats away from me. She was doing a great job of being a hostess, and making sure everyone was comfortable.

I started texting my friend Andra back in St. Pete so I would not feel so alone, and to keep me busy, instead of staring down at everyone talking while I was by myself.

Well the procedings finally started. The speaker was, according to the program, an Internationally Renowned Expert on Global Food Security and Nutrition and a former Advisor to the UN.

WTF? You have got to be kidding me?!

In all actuality though, he was good, to the point, and quick. Not much you can ask for in a speaker. Obama would have been talking about his health care plan. Not this guy...he just wanted his check and to hit the road....

J and the rest of the undergraduates then graduated....we all took pics of him getting up to the podium....and then waited, and waited, and waited...as the advanced degree individuals got their Masters, JED's and PHD's

In the meantime, J's Aunt Vero and her kids came up and chatted with me...which really made me feel good. I always got along with her and the kids, and after the bit of awkwardness passed (due to not seeing them in 5 years) we talked about all that had been going on. Kids grow up fast, and hers are no exception. A bit later J's grandmother speaks to me in the upper portion of the Suite. We talked for about 5 minutes. I really got along with her, and she seemed to take a liking to me, even though no man is good enough for her daughter. That chat made me feel really good.

Later on after the graduation we all went to lunch at a Mexican place that J and Emily frequent. I sat next to friends of Vero's who were close to J, Eddie and Stephanie, and the kids. Though I was at the end of the table, I did not feel too left out.

J is the first in his family to graduate from college. His family is also Puerto Rican. Add those two factors together and you get an emotionall affair.

Unbeknownst to me, everyone had planned to stand up and say to him how much he meant to him and how proud they were of him. Tears started flowing. After everyone had spoke Luz coaxed me up to say a few words....so I told a story about J and our cats, which was really kinda stupid but I was very unsure of what to say at that particular moment. I just felt out of place saying things about the past when his mother, he and myself were a family unit.

By 3:30p it was over. I said my goodbyes to everyone....J's grandmother made a point of coming over to me and telling me that she still loved me, which kinda started to make me choke up. His grandfather gave me a hug....Vero and the kids all hugged me goodbye. And finally J and Emily made sure to thank me for coming. J wanted to make sure that I would text him when I got back into St. Pete. I told him I would. I started walking to my car.

Luz was no where to be seen to say goodbye. She was probably out in her vehicle packing some stuff away...so I really dont think she was avoiding me. Fitting though that the day ended as it started. When I first saw her in the morning she did not say "hi", and now she was not around for me to say "goodbye". I thought it would be tacky if I waited around and looked for her. So I left.

I just wanted a picture of the two of us with J after he graduated, but I just felt uncomfortable the whole day to ask her for one.

My drive back to St. Pete was a long 4 1/2 hours. When I hit the junction of I-10 and I-75 to head south, it started to rain again.

And I started to cry. Thinking to myself that a family that I had been a small part of for 6 years was totally gone. That Luz had remarried. That I was an outsider. That I would not see anyone again most probably until J gets married....and after that, would probably not see any of them ever again.

The RainEx again helped me see on the drive home as it did on the drive up.

There is no RainEx for the eyes though....